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The Tale of the Very Slow Tortoise

Max Cashback

In April, I ran the London Marathon. Well, I shuffled the London Marathon. And before December 17th of last year I’d never run – I mean, I’d never run. If the last train was leaving, I’d have rather got a taxi than get out of breath.

As a 33 year old, overweight mother of two, I thought it was about time for a mid life crisis. I’ve got too much to loose to have an affair, and I can’t afford a Ferrari – so I decided to run the London Marathon in 2003, and luckily managed to get a place.

I found a great training programme for complete beginners – although I was sceptical – would I even qualify as a beginner?. The training programme claimed that you go out and run for 45 seconds, then walk for 3 minutes. Repeat this 7 times, then go home. Then do it again every day for a week. Then the next week run for a minute, and walk for 3, then increase it, and increase it.

Then, it was just a matter of increasing the time – to about 6 hours! So, in the ice, snow, rain, cold, fog, dark, and occasionally in the sunshine, I tied up my laces, and got out there. And three weeks before the marathon I ran 20 miles. OK – it took me 5 hours, which is barely faster than a brisk walk, but I did it.

Then the week before the Marathon, having suffered from no injuries at all throughout training, my body finally decided to rebel. I got a knackered knee, and a knackered back - it was touch and go as to whether I could even get down to London, never mind run 26 miles. But, my injuries slowly improved, and I managed to line up with 32,000 other people on 13th April.

I ran the first 12 miles, but going over Tower Bridge, it became clear that my back and knee weren’t going to let me carry on. So I gave in, and began to walk – along with about 1000 other people. OK, so most of these were either dressed up as rhinos, or were carrying huge buckets of money, or carrying a lifeboat. But they were very good company. And I know it’s a huge cliché to say how brilliant the crowd were, but they were! They really kept me going – I couldn’t believe how many people stayed around to see us slow coaches at the back.

I began to understand how slow we were when the road sweepers started to tidy up around us – and the water stations had long gone, leaving a few bottles on the road side! I think Paula had been home, had her bath, had a nice Sunday Roast, and had watched the repeat of Titantic on Sky Movies by the time I crossed the line.

But the point is, I crossed the line. I have the medal to prove it!

So, if you watched the Marathon again this year, and thought I’d love to do that, then you can. All you have to do is just go out your front door, and start running….

Charlotte Oldwood

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